(Note the whole conversation took part in Spanish, a language which I, I of course master. Could you imagine how fluent it all went, boesjakka )

A small act for two. BorderGuard (BS) and Basszje (B)

Setting: Small immigracion office set in the hills between Peru and Ecuador. Some backpackers are filling out the big andean immigration questionnaire. Borderguard looks pretty happy.

BS … So you are entering Peru?
B Eh no, entering Ecuador actually, leaving Peru
BS … Eh yes but where is your tourist card?
B Hum yes, don?t have that one
BS .. And your visa, and no exit stamp from Ecuador…
B I have to explain this one.

B We entered via Tiwintza, El Rio santiago to the Amazonas in Peru. Puerto Galileo
BS Where? What?
B Ah and I got a letter from the local Jefe of the military post
BS Yes well that?s not a correct form.
B But it?s a letter
BS Not correct!
B But but
BS Ok let me see .
BS …..

Borderguard?s expression changes and looks at victim with a eye of disbelieve

BS You crossed the border with people from Switserland, Canada and Korea?
B Well actually she is from Australia, and the other Holanda, and the guy from Japon, almost correct I?d say
BS Aha and where are they now?
B One is heading for Brazil, one is in Lima and one is somewhere still around Peru.
BS …….. ……
B But I talked to the policia everywhere and they said this was fine!
BS …. no …
BS This gives you right for 2 kilometres around the border, not whole Peru! Argh, how long are you here?
B There is a date on the letter
BS Argh! (change expression accordingly ) Casi un mes! Eh I can?t fix that
B But the puesto militar dicem …
BS Yes, but they are not immigration, they don?t know!
B Ah yes I didn?t know that.
BS *laughing* So you?re an illegal now, no!
B …
BS But ok I can fix this, but then it?s 60 dollars for tax and giving you a backward permission
B Well, that?s more than I have at this moment
BS *sigh* What do you have?
B Two dollars!
BS *sigh* Ah well, they won?t accept that in Ecuador either, without the exit stamp from Ecuador.
*shake head* What a mess! … Hey you?re informatico?
B. eeh. yes.
BS Alright can you write down your mailaddress, I?ll send a mail about a computer problem
B … eh sure why not
BS Ok so, my advice to this mess. This is a mess. You never left Ecuador, hum. I?ll take your letter. Just cross the bridge and keep on walking. If you explain this story with the guys in Ecuador you have problem there and then I have problem and I don?t want problems. If they ask, you were never in Peru. Were you in Peru? haha no!
B Right, got you! Muchas gracias, senor
BS Nada nada. Now let me get with this american there.

Act closes. Scene ends with Basszje walking across the border, walking across the Ecuadorian immigration and a bunch of posting soldiers, getting asked absolutely nothing and jumping in the first Collectivio to the nearest town.